Crush ++

Can't stop thinking. I have fallen way too deep. Its weird bila fikir, falling for someone I haven't actually meet in person. Falling for someone who I only got the chance to know by his writings. What am I supposed to do? I've been talking to 2 person that I truly trust and seek for advices. The A person said that I'd better stop all of this shit because it ain't going anywhere. On the other hand, The B person said that I should give it a go. We never know what will happen.

Usually, I told myself to be brave and dare to take the risk in whatever consequences pun. At least we'll die trying rather then loosing for something aku langsung tak cuba. I believed that nothing venture, nothing gain. Tapi kenapa in this case aku lock up my foot and tak berani nak move another step forward. Neither for me to take any step backward; as if aku suka berada pada exact position di mana aku go crazy about him tapi dia absolutely have no clue.

What am I suppose to do? I've been talking to a friend few days back. And co-incidentally he knew that person's ex. After hearing the stories about why do they broke up and all, and then relate'kan with those stuff he wrote, aku really pissed off with his ex and rasa sangat unfair to him. Kenapa terlalu banyak manusia kejam? Imagine that after apa yang dia dah buat to flatter his ex tapi ended up with totally unacceptable reason yang I bet dia sendiri tak tahu. SHIT! He don't deserve to be treated like that. Kenapa tak bole nak appreciate something nice and sweet like that yang dah ada depan mata? Why does physical appearance kena jadi issue? Unfair! Kenapa orang yang evil like that dapat the chance to be with him while aku yang so into him tak dapat those kind of chance? Unfair!

Balik daripada tu, I really can't stop thinking about it. Rasa macam nak cuba call dia but I don't even have his number. Besides, I am just anonymous to him. Tapi perasaan ni memberontak. Have you ever feel wanting a person you barely even meet tapi falling for that person so deep as if you've known them for so long? That's exactly how I feel right about now.

Sadly, he doesn't realise that. As I said, I am just anonymous to him. Even though he might knew a little bit about the crush, but I am pretty sure it really meant nothing to him. Tapi frankly speaking, I've gone too far with my own feelings sampaikan aku refused to have any other opportunities or options just to haunt on something that I clearly won't get it. Tapi itu lumrah manusia. Wanting what they can't get.

I wish he would realise my existence and at least appreciate me. I wish that this is not a waste of thinking or feelings sebab from what I know, he is such an adorable person inside when you willing to give the opportunity to understand. I wish I will be given the chance to prove myself to him. I wish a miracle and fate will do his charm on me. I wish the luck will be on my side this time.