My new priorities

Mood: Rejuvenated

Right about now, the most important things is to know my priorities. Aku dah fed up dengan most of the things yang complicating my life lately. So I choose to find myself a new life. Not that my life right now were totally sucks, but I think it is time for me to change. Yes! I need to change for good.

01: Good career.

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When I was a kid, I always wanted to be an architect. Unfortunately, after few colleges drop-out, I was no longer have the opportunities to be one of them. So I studied graphic design. Yet, I am lack of experiences in graphic so most of my previous job have nothing related to it. I worked for a few financial companies previously.

Somehow, I've been told that I am actually good at writing (people say I am; make yourself clear). Well, I have a passion for writing. But most of it were nothing but a crappy personal stories. Other then that, people also find me have a good fashion sense (again, people told me). Yes, I am a big fan of fashion. I visualise it, but I don't really design it. I might not even apply it to myself. But at least, I am not one of those out of fashion freak. Back to the issue, fashion and writing are the 2 main interest for me. So why don't I write for fashion? I used to, but lets just say I don't really have the certificate to approve neither I am a fashion designer nor a journalist. So I skipped that.

Right about now, I am still dreaming to be a fashion writer or an editor of a magazine. Can I really achieve that? I guess I should try, from scratch. Whatever it is, I need a good career right about now. And no matter what job it will be, I'll do it efficiently.

02: Family first

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I am the youngest among 3. Yes people said that the youngest are the one who get most of the attention. I used to believe on that too. But as I grow older, I am the one who really lack of it. I admit that I am the black sheep of the family. For some reasons, I am the rebellious one in my family. I always fight for what I want and will do something bad when I don't get what I've wished for. As a result, I am spoiled.

Now, I have to be independent. I can't depend much on them anymore. Neither on my sister who already have her own family, nor to my brother who couldn't care much. I always put friends first then family second before. From now on, family will always remain first. I've learnt a lot from previous disappointment. So let's hope that this time, I'll get closer to my family as I was before when I was in my teen ages.

03: Best friends forever

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I might known for having a lot of friends. I might also never be catch seeing alone. I always have friends around me since I was in high school. Friends were like clothes that I have to wear everyday. But now, I still do believe that friends are like clothes. They keep changing and keep loosing.

Luckily, I have a few of them who glued to me. Those are my bff. I might have made some mistakes in this friendship, but there are ways to make it up to them. I love them so much just like my own family. I never have any intention to hurt them, neither to be hurt by them. I shall keep them forever.

04: LOVE

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I just want to love and be love by someone special that might not be perfect, but perfect for me.

05: F.R.I.E.N.D.S

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Weird, but true. Even though I am a homo, but 98% of my friends are those straight people who understand and well-accept homo. Obviously, they are not homophobia. I am glad to have them as friends. I am sorry for those who couldn't accept me for who I am. But at least I am not a hypocrite. You have to accept my orientation in a way to become a friend. Its just who I am, not what I have become.

I always wanted to have some homo friends like any other people like me. I have some, but most of them ended up dated me or dumped me. Funny, that we couldn't stay in a friendship zone when clearly either me or them who have feelings towards each other. I just couldn't. But once I treated them as a friend, then I've drew the line that we couldn't even cross it.

But friends do come and go. I am sorry that I don't seems to have much effort in making new friends. I like to make friends and I believe that I am a friendly person. But seriously, it keeps on changing and I am getting tired of it. So friends, unnecessarily to be count on. Besides, friends are just friends.

There might be a few subjects to be add on in times. But lets hope this change will make me become a better person. Hey, it is not too late to have a new resolutions. Mine started now.